Have you met or seen any perfect people lately? How about that great speaker or amazing teacher from grade school or college. Or how about one of the amazing athletes from the Olympics last summer or your favorite sport. Tiger Woods anyone? Ok, so what about Dancing with the Stars or American Idol certainly, by now, they must have found someone who is perfect.
One could go on, but the point is clear perfect people don’t exist. And yet here I sit with writers block trying to produce the perfect article on the harm of perfectionism. Here I sit withholding myself from my readers and my clients (and many other significant relationships, adventures and opportunities). My stubborn refusal to accept the reality that ALL my actions, words, thoughts are imperfect and always will be, destroys my peace, traps me in procrastination, and makes my body physically ill. I withhold myself until I can produce perfection and I wonder why I can’t find intimacy.
And here is the kicker when I act in my imperfection God works through me to bless people and situations anyway!
Refusal to accept the reality of our imperfection is the beginning of insanity. It never leads to peace. Of course any of you who have struggled with perfectionism are probably saying “O.K. nothing new here…” But here is my question. Does God hate you for being imperfect? Has he ever hated you for being imperfect? I would expect a resounding of “course not.” So I will repeat what a very wise man once said to me… “Then stop hating yourself for being imperfect.” Stop rejecting your imperfections. Stop believing the lie of the world (and perhaps your parents and your Church) that you have to be perfect to be loved. That you have to be perfect to be or do something worthwhile. Confess the lie of your perfectionism to God as you understand it at this moment. Ask Him to help you understand and accept the reality of your life. Trust Him that He will only give you what you can handle, and rest in His response.
Oh and don’t expect to be perfectly healed from your perfectionism.
If you found this article helpful leave me a comment.
If you would like to talk more about this or another concern of the heart, give my office a call at 587 879 7064.
If you know someone who needs to read this, send them a link.
Until next time…